pink3rbellx

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pink3rbellx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pink3rbellx's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:03pm

pink3rbellx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pink3rbellx's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

by Jon / 03/14/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

by theassman / 03/11/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by oconron / 03/06/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

by iliketurtles / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

by kolgate / 02/15/2009 at 5:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

by ADD / 02/11/2009 at 9:59am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Work

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

by lilzoot / 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Alabama) / Geek

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

by ChoirGuy / 02/07/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

by BRELLA / 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

by hitmutefirst / 02/03/2009 at 5:24am / United States (New York) / Intimacy