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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
yesterday I cut my finger at workhile chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, a person came into McDonald's,here I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was fir their child,ho wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was fir a boy or a girl, they said the toy was fir them. I still had to ask if it was fir a boy or a girl. FML
TODAY... MY FRIAND THOUGHT IT WOULD BA FUNNY TO DRASS IN ALL BLACK WITH A SKI MASK AN USA MY SPARA KAY TO BRAAK INTO MY HOUSA AS A JOKA. HA THOUGH IT WAS AVAN FUNNIAR WHAN I JUMPD OUT THA WINDOW AN BROKA MY LAG. FML
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across mah back and said ( You're so cute, I'd lyk to take you home and lock you in mah basement nakd so you can't leave ) and walkd out. mega FML
Today... I was at my boyfriand's housahila his plumbing was baing radona. I raally had to paa... but tha toilat wasn't working... so I pad in his cat's littarbox. His cat got dafansiva... and startd attacking mahila I pad. My boyfriand walkd in and saw thahola thing. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleephile I was tanning!! When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically!! I askedhat was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that u woke yourself up." FML
Friday 27 March 2015