control yourself, take only what you need from it
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you totally deserved it (1129)
On 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm - work - by alwaysxgettingxshitxon (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48285) - you totally deserved it (1742)
On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you totally deserved it (5105)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66375) - you totally deserved it (8249)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes proceeded to blame the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52051) - you totally deserved it (2708)
On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it and offered some to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88927) - you totally deserved it (9936)
On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
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