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pineapples's favorite FMLs
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
by alwaysxgettingxshitxon / 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
by GrahamCracker / 05/21/2009 at 1:36am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 6:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by lalanon / 04/03/2009 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
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