Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pin_up_shenzi

Offline (18 minutes ago) | Search for a member

pin_up_shenzi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 109
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pin_up_shenzi : Fun out going and bitchy at points but who isnt right? haha
well i love punk metal thrash rockabilly and psychobilly music. pretty much all i have to say to people who stumble upon this :)

pin_up_shenzi's page activity

Visits<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:24pm<b>WestSoy</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:28pm

pin_up_shenzi's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of pin_up_shenzi's badges

pin_up_shenzi's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44840) - you deserved it (33200)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48716) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43084) - you deserved it (6250)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (56743)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56057) - you deserved it (6901)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44346) - you deserved it (5320)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41849) - you deserved it (5198)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (13898)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62221) - you deserved it (13941)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (7998)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (15887)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

#19915209
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (28649)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27753) - you deserved it (2022)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: