pimp_named_mitch

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Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 5:59pm)

pimp_named_mitch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 January 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1035
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pimp_named_mitch's page activity

Visits<b>Obediah14</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:16pm<b>kingcaper817</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>SynysterNero</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:37pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:04pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Virohh</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:28pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:01am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:05am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:32am<b>brooklynrage</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:33pm<b>hruiz</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:49am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 5:30am<b>Lexi_Baby_Q_143</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:18am<b>P_B683</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 11:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:47am

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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pimp_named_mitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

by Alex / 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

by Photagrapher / 08/18/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML

by latenightbite / 03/16/2010 at 7:17pm / United States / Love

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

by Celeste / 03/02/2010 at 4:14am / Singapore / Transportation

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

by badsister / 01/10/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2009 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

by Joe / 11/01/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

by skyhawk13 / 10/30/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

by Fattypatty / 07/09/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

by GrandmasWhore / 04/04/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy