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pimp_named_mitch

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pimp_named_mitch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 January 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pimp_named_mitch's page activity

Visits<b>Obediah14</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:16pm<b>kingcaper817</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>SynysterNero</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:37pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:04pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Virohh</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:28pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:01am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:05am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:32am<b>brooklynrage</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:33pm<b>hruiz</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:49am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 5:30am<b>Lexi_Baby_Q_143</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:18am<b>P_B683</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 11:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:47am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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pimp_named_mitch's favorite FMLs

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53243) - you deserved it (4511)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63987) - you deserved it (5056)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48361) - you deserved it (5912)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

#21076752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42816) - you deserved it (7733)

On 03/03/2014 at 10:55am - kids - by adopted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54357) - you deserved it (6009) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (7574)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46805) - you deserved it (4742)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50070) - you deserved it (9735)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52981) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (63591)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (52846)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56509) - you deserved it (5389)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML



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