Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pikasqueak

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

pikasqueak

0Liked!

pikasqueakpikasqueak
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 February 2000 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pikasqueak : Just a girl obsessed with Imagine Dragons, PewDiePie, Fall Out Boy, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Nintendo, sleep, food and Benedict Cumberbatch. Feel free to chat with me! I love fangirling with someone else^^. 😃

pikasqueak's page activity

Visits<b>erptwerp</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:45am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 7:06pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:02am<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:00pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:32am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 10:01pm

pikasqueak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of pikasqueak's badges

pikasqueak's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (10426)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wasn't really bedridden sick on Valentine's Day. A Super Smash Bros game date with his friends was just more important. FML

#21358314
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm - love - by superscript - United States (Washington)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14606) - you deserved it (38161)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (2339)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (4337)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (6109)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (5549)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (2648)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: