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pikasqueak

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pikasqueak

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  • Number of visits : 644
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:00pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:32am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 10:01pm

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pikasqueak's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (2675)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (3851)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17703) - you deserved it (34466)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (6294)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (14982)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32785) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (4892)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (3841)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (11501)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34899) - you deserved it (6247)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (3792)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (4557)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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