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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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piercedfox

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piercedfox
  • Town/Country : Oceanside, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 May 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About piercedfox : Aloha, mi amigos.
Dear God no, I'm not racist, so please don't burn my house down.
My name is Jess - the infamous,notorious,lovely Jess - and of course, I've had FMLs just like you. Stuff that just makes me want to go home and cut my - I'm just kidding. ^///^

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piercedfox's favorite FMLs

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

#6464238 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (2111)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20043) - you deserved it (13149)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (23582) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (1886)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (3628)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML

#5507181 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (7849)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

#5504696 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (10338)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (39014) - you deserved it (2590)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

#5373762 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girfriend. FML

#5276635 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:44pm - love - by Soontobeex (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44906) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (1567)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

#4859599 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (53471) - you deserved it (1475)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)