Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

picklemonger

Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 10:07pm) | Search for a member

picklemonger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 June 1978 (36 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2058
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About picklemonger : Don't keep your darkest thoughts piled up inside. Share them!

picklemonger's page activity

Visits<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:52pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Feremist</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:48pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:42am<b>Kitchen_Ninja</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:04pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:24am<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>drumguy218</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:35am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:29am<b>silon5</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:40pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:17pm<b>warsun</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:09am<b>eatdaussy69lol</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:26am<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 6:24am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:38am<b>Pussycat86</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:01am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 6:47pm

picklemonger's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of picklemonger's badges

picklemonger's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (5446)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (4030)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53149) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36419) - you deserved it (12295)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48824) - you deserved it (6385)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (2698) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45856) - you deserved it (2735)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48362) - you deserved it (14419)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47319) - you deserved it (4382)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (2311)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (18126)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7032) - you deserved it (33285)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: