Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phoneaddict13

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

phoneaddict13

9Liked!

phoneaddict13phoneaddict13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 January 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5591
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About phoneaddict13 : your average cool, friendly tennis playing girl. if ya wanna talk, just message but if you ask me to disrespect myself in any way I will gladly tell you to go fuck yourself.

phoneaddict13's page activity

Visits<b>Soulsbane96</b> - 20 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:10pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:05pm<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:12am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:15am<b>mentallizzard</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:49pm<b>val_is_lame97</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:43pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:39am<b>MRP360</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 12:48pm<b>mhb210</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 12:23pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:48am<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:07pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>137113715</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:47am<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:06am<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 10:14pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:49am<b>137113715</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 9:47am<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:44pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:50am<b>rjc490</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:07am<b>kakaylaa</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:40am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:39pm<b>christiancrew</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:57am

phoneaddict13's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of phoneaddict13's badges

phoneaddict13's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (7472)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (9072)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28097) - you deserved it (2285)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (17509)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. My grandma posted about it on her Facebook wall, but people got confused and thought it was her birthday instead. She got twice as many birthday wishes as I did, and that's including the ones I got outside of Facebook. FML

#21308382
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2502)

On 11/29/2014 at 10:20pm - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (2643)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (5743)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

#21308187
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28810) - you deserved it (3144)

On 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm - work - by gotta euthanize em all (man) - Canada

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38155) - you deserved it (4658)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (2313)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (3741)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

#21307526
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (11864)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm - kids - by Ruinedchristmas (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: