Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phoneaddict13

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

phoneaddict13

7Liked!

phoneaddict13phoneaddict13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 January 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4428
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About phoneaddict13 : your average cool, friendly tennis playing girl. if ya wanna talk, just message but if you ask me to disrespect myself in any way I will gladly tell you to go fuck yourself.

phoneaddict13's page activity

Visits<b>LilMsDulce</b> - 9 hours ago<b>captmorgan210</b> - 10 hours ago<b>WeLikeIke</b> - 21 hours ago<b>chrisseesyou</b> - 24 hours ago<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - 24 hours ago<b>nightfire2258</b> - 24 hours ago<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 1:43pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:33pm<b>shanebob</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:12am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:24pm<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:58pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:38pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:49am<b>decimater</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:20am<b>gurbism</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:47am<b>thecalvin123</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Krirn</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:10pm

Liked!<b>DanboiRowe</b> - yesterday at 7:44pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:50am<b>rjc490</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:07am<b>kakaylaa</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:40am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:39pm<b>christiancrew</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:57am

phoneaddict13's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of phoneaddict13's badges

phoneaddict13's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (4901)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

#21296003
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (4671)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:10am - work - by Pixel (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (6227)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (2537)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (4660)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

#21295219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (6524)

On 11/09/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

#21295090
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (4192)

On 11/08/2014 at 11:06pm - kids - by NoBabies - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17865) - you deserved it (34609)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (3412)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (26388)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42987) - you deserved it (3124)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you deserved it (4084)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (3192)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: