Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phoneaddict13

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

phoneaddict13

1Liked!

phoneaddict13phoneaddict13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 January 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3424
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About phoneaddict13 : your average cool, friendly tennis playing girl. if ya wanna talk, just message but if you ask me to disrespect myself in any way I will gladly tell you to go fuck yourself.

phoneaddict13's page activity

Visits<b>Cryptical</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Daschundman</b> - 15 hours ago<b>ostfaiz</b> - yesterday at 1:04am<b>Nicholas12</b> - yesterday at 11:56pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - yesterday at 11:50pm<b>reyelisaia</b> - yesterday at 11:42pm<b>Kitty19</b> - yesterday at 11:27pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - yesterday at 10:38pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - yesterday at 10:20pm<b>abattior</b> - yesterday at 9:49pm<b>mval10</b> - yesterday at 8:57pm<b>RussRuss</b> - yesterday at 8:16pm<b>grajax</b> - yesterday at 6:58pm<b>muslimpride</b> - yesterday at 6:26pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - yesterday at 6:11pm<b>thomas5915</b> - yesterday at 6:06pm<b>wang33334</b> - yesterday at 5:43pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - yesterday at 5:28pm

Liked!<b>christiancrew</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:57am

phoneaddict13's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of phoneaddict13's badges

phoneaddict13's favorite FMLs

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

#21271313
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (33136)

On 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML

#21271287
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (4493)

On 10/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by HarleyDavison - United States (Missouri)

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

#21271233
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (4411)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you deserved it (5044)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (8368)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (3838)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (5117)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (2423)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41758) - you deserved it (3615)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: