Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phoneaddict13

Online | Search for a member

phoneaddict13

3Liked!

phoneaddict13phoneaddict13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 January 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3481
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About phoneaddict13 : your average cool, friendly tennis playing girl. if ya wanna talk, just message but if you ask me to disrespect myself in any way I will gladly tell you to go fuck yourself.

phoneaddict13's page activity

Visits<b>natyemi15</b> - 6 hours ago<b>DougK76</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Hunter4413</b> - 10 hours ago<b>devildog562</b> - 15 hours ago<b>AFaye3964</b> - 20 hours ago<b>jsjelly07</b> - 24 hours ago<b>cinskeep43</b> - yesterday at 10:57pm<b>averynicole18</b> - yesterday at 10:43pm<b>Cloveland99</b> - yesterday at 9:42pm<b>orbit</b> - yesterday at 5:40pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 5:10pm<b>Codezlol</b> - yesterday at 4:00pm<b>seeoseek</b> - yesterday at 3:28pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:02am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:58am<b>Daschundman</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:35pm

Liked!<b>Hunter4413</b> - 4 hours ago<b>devildog562</b> - 9 hours ago<b>christiancrew</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:57am

phoneaddict13's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of phoneaddict13's badges

phoneaddict13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (4052)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (8778)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (1909)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (2313)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (2478)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (4994)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (3753)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

#21281210
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (6980)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (6812)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (35085)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31934) - you deserved it (4065)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: