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phoneYuNOlisten's favorite FMLs
by Anoymous / 06/09/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health
by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by butisavedyourkid / 06/06/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Kids
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by Bookworm / 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by H1dd3n / 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health
by stillhave2years / 05/22/2013 at 6:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
by schoolgrlstaci / 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…