Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

philipino

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

philipino

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2455
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About philipino : I'm really sarcastic, and I play soccer and basketball.

Surprise I'm bi and goodbye

philipino's page activity

Visits<b>spockadelic</b> - 10 hours ago<b>chatokun</b> - yesterday at 3:14am<b>LegalLoitering</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:30pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:10pm<b>lordkyron</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:02pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:43pm<b>atav</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:50pm<b>ddog04</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:32pm<b>magikarpsmurfs</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:57pm<b>xauuxa</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:44am<b>victor42107</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:22am<b>fotocand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:44am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:11am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:36am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:21am<b>mariannezr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:50am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:06am

Liked!<b>LegalLoitering</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:12am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:57am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:04am

philipino's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of philipino's badges

philipino's favorite FMLs

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (10427)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38369) - you deserved it (3555)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (3936)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44522) - you deserved it (3370)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66800) - you deserved it (4063)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48754) - you deserved it (6373)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (2704)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57519) - you deserved it (4590)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45149) - you deserved it (3413)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54957) - you deserved it (27611)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43625) - you deserved it (4807)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: