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About philipino : I'm really sarcastic, and I play soccer and basketball.
Surprise I'm bi and goodbye
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, strict Christian mother walkd into room just after I'd finishd masturbating . Although dressd, I was still holding the usd tissue, which she noticd . Having to think looool fast to disguise ded and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow nose with the spunky tissue . FML
Yesterday... my mum an I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy 4 her... since she always complains about looking masculine. However... I would still like to be called a gentleman... seeing as how I am one. FML
Today I recieved a poorly-written letter from mah asshole nieghbor in which he threatened to ( sew ) me cuz mah dog shat on his lawn again . I went over asked if he needed some wool fir his sewing an told him to looool stop bieng an idiot . Now he's apparently hring a lawyer fir real . FML
Yesterday, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow 4 Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush 4 cheap stuff. FML
Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML
Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeon at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeon moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
yesterday my mum staggerd ome, piss drunk. Wen I trid to walk er to er room, se sovd me away and cursd at me fir being a "goody two-soes". Se ten slurrd "I fuckd your mum", and informd me tat my mum is a skank. Tat's good to know, mum.
Friday 27 March 2015