Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

philipino

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

philipino

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2521
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About philipino : I'm really sarcastic, and I play soccer and basketball.

Surprise I'm bi and goodbye

philipino's page activity

Visits<b>jwd_2</b> - 15 hours ago<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - 22 hours ago<b>ashhole122</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:45pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:34pm<b>ToBeFilledInLate</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:05am<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:33am<b>jdawg1996</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:21pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:27pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:59pm<b>willrich7</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:18pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:20pm<b>colin_624</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:18pm<b>aceking69</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:15pm<b>FunGhoost</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:38pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:11pm<b>MadLife136</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:10pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:19pm<b>BigLatchZatch</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:13pm

Liked!<b>LegalLoitering</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:12am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:57am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:04am

philipino's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of philipino's badges

philipino's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34773) - you deserved it (5776)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9991) - you deserved it (26707)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12016) - you deserved it (44812)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59426) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (4315)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (1565)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (1627)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9288) - you deserved it (25086)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (2323)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (2212)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (2508)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6136) - you deserved it (70640)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55293) - you deserved it (2457)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: