Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phew

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

phew

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1841
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>jeriaslovesyou</b> - yesterday at 11:13pm<b>adamxxx2567</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:50pm<b>sju91</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:39pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:38pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:13pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:04pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:24pm<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:47pm<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:10pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:55pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:35pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:36pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:16am<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:43pm<b>bells_muchacho</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:02am

Liked!<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

#21268536
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (2079)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
62 comments

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

#21267195
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm - love - by superman21 - Ireland

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32137) - you deserved it (4423)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17260) - you deserved it (24400)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35826) - you deserved it (2971)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (3131)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (4951)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

#21266215
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/27/2014 at 4:16am - love - by nyx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32334) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30498) - you deserved it (7934)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

#21265995
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (5071)

On 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm - money - by lgt5628 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: