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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (64057)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69998) - you deserved it (23447)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (275808) - you deserved it (25324)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (431079)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67433) - you deserved it (2742)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48705) - you deserved it (6667)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:05am - work - by Rev (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (414413) - you deserved it (248661)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63843) - you deserved it (21808)
On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28752) - you deserved it (339175)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44508) - you deserved it (517687)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753794) - you deserved it (63740)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11177) - you deserved it (62891)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18255) - you deserved it (1966)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)
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