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pflahert

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pflahert

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  • Number of visits : 3406
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pflahert's page activity

Visits<b>Tempest151</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:33pm

pflahert's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of pflahert's badges

pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (12983)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

#21510035
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21266) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/01/2016 at 2:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

#21509574
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (1220)

On 12/30/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by just outdone - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I complained about period cramps. My boyfriend said periods can't be that bad since "girls must orgasm every time they put a tampon in." FML

#21505128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (2026)

On 12/18/2015 at 11:37am - love - by periods (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML

#21501584
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm - love - by neverleavingthehouseagain (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while giving my final speech, a bump that had been growing on my arm popped. Pus leaked through my white dress sleeve, and it smelled like death. Everyone noticed. FML

#21501522
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/08/2015 at 3:24pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

#21501461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by Nile (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML

#21499888
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/04/2015 at 12:41am - misc - by notfromanisland -

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

#21493135
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (2422)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by I Know How to Pick'em - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

#21490607
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (7158)

On 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by bianca131 (woman) - Australia



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