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pflahert

Offline (the 08/30/2015 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

pflahert

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  • Number of visits : 2141
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pflahert's page activity

Visits<b>Tempest151</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:33pm

pflahert's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of pflahert's badges

pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

#21460378
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (1379)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:51am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19595) - you deserved it (5219)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34971) - you deserved it (1867)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (4062)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML

#21457721
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (2691)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:55pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

#21457226
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (2438)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND (man) - Canada

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (1792)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (1817)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17393) - you deserved it (28274)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (1621)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (1693)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (4000)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (1590)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (2392)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13127) - you deserved it (24361)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)



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