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pflahert

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pflahert
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  • Number of visits : 243
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pflahert's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (3641)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (3811)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37287) - you deserved it (11692)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36655) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (5851)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (4880)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48566) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (4523)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53988) - you deserved it (4102)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

#21085874
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (10032)

On 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Venus - United States (California)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36264) - you deserved it (5260)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (6061)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)



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