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pflahert

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pflahert

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pflahert's page activity

Visits<b>Tempest151</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:33pm

pflahert's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of pflahert's badges

pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12717) - you deserved it (1199)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (29370)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (1447)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (1532)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18913) - you deserved it (1709)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (1680)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (4389)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (3324)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2878)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (2259)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (2698)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

#21362753
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (4037)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by whiteycan'tgetitrightey - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (6358)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

#21362681
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (2418)

On 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by xxruby - United States (Texas)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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