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peytonkins12

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1352
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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peytonkins12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (12557)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (14564)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55967) - you deserved it (3681)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7019) - you deserved it (43022)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (17404)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27926) - you deserved it (16668)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (10207)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (3670)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8571) - you deserved it (33296)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (6284)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (19207)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (24976)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (3159)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (49103)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)



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