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Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (8017)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (6013)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (10800) - you deserved it (16829)
On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (5827)
On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (7394)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24296) - you deserved it (6983)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was driving down the road. A giant seagull flew into my windsheild and shattered it. If that is not bad enough, the carcass slid up my windshield, into my sunroof, and suddenly I had a bloody, dead passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (1932)
On 10/08/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (4821)
On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (3382)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (6011)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (6011)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (2857)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (3220)
On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)
Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (3386)
On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking down the street and I passed two guys. As I went by, I heard one of guys whisper "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (2433)
On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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