peytonkins12

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Offline (the 04/06/2015 at 7:01am)

peytonkins12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2813
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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peytonkins12's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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peytonkins12's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

by nofriends / 06/01/2011 at 12:28am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

by Dana / 05/10/2011 at 4:36am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

by pepsifoot / 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

by hopeless / 04/08/2011 at 11:03am / Love

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

by Amy / 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health