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Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (2322)
On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (2577)
On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (2642)
On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (2553)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (22084)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6088) - you deserved it (44014)
On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (2573)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (3397)
On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10088) - you deserved it (21272)
On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47974) - you deserved it (4816)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13977) - you deserved it (42231)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13977) - you deserved it (42231)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (3462)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (2417)
On 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm - kids - by Tabby (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (2676)
On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
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