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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1913
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About pete9913 : I read these FMLs to get a laugh. At least I know I don't have it as bad as I think sometimes. I also usually come here on my phone, so sometimes I click on a YDI or FYL that I didn't mean to. I'm retired military, after 23 years, and I'd still be in if they'd let me. love to spend my spare time outside, hiking, fishing or just laying in my hammock.

pete9913's page activity

Visits<b>battousai1995</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Camwentz</b> - yesterday at 2:00am<b>914smv</b> - yesterday at 1:48am<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:55pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:13pm<b>CliffPaul</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:30pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:50pm<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:19pm<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:29pm<b>Loving_Life98McK</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:19pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:00pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:57pm<b>crocks97</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:40pm<b>gatorclay97</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:45am<b>jupiterdjay</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:36am<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:27am<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:37am<b>prout92340</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:51am

Fucked!<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:56pm<b>gatorclay97</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:43pm<b>jupiterdjay</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:36am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:29pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:07am<b>llexibearr</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:30pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 3:30am<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 6:42pm<b>aprilnb1</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 2:19pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:12am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:34pm<b>spicypie</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:17am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:47pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:46am<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:51am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:22am<b>amileah13</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:50am

pete9913's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of pete9913's badges

pete9913's favorite FMLs

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (1898)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19964) - you deserved it (6624)

On 12/12/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Ihadnoidea (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (2291)

On 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm - kids - by sydcaller618 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by qourt - United States

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:46am - love - by helpme (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (1770)

On 09/22/2015 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the one guy sitting next to me, and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (11311)

On 09/20/2015 at 11:23am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (2190)

On 09/14/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by annabellatrix (woman) - Hungary

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (31421)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (2457)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:59am - misc - by Fartnonymous (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

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  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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