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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (2980)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (2164)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (75994)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (30066)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (2273)
On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (7420)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (13879)
On 09/14/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by diplomaless (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was the only one who used the money from the insurance settlement from my dad's death responsibly. I was in my first semester of college when she cashed in mine for a vacation. I had to drop out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (1453)
On 09/14/2009 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (3757)
On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38840) - you deserved it (11458)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3861) - you deserved it (57789)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (38205)
On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (11400)
On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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