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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (5982)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (1906)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (2016)
On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7053) - you deserved it (21795)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10242) - you deserved it (17305)
On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (2774)
On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13507) - you deserved it (17860) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8421) - you deserved it (1519)
On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (2697)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (39291)
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15481) - you deserved it (2164)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore
Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (3706)
On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (6138)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (2323)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32718) - you deserved it (3965)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
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