Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

perfectlystaind

Search for a member

perfectlystaind
  • Town/Country : Iowa, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 January 1986 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 260
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About perfectlystaind : I like turtles.

perfectlystaind's last visitors

WeWalkIn1Dbwzwally8karlcolt45ICastilloMutiny7brittanyrmh_Cupcake040mountainmanneilPenguinBitchjeep575

perfectlystaind's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of perfectlystaind's badges

perfectlystaind's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (34431)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discovered it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML

#15956367
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21628) - you deserved it (4349)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:43pm - misc - by lostinthewoods (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63709) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (15935)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (28932)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
721 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248818) - you deserved it (111442)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197277) - you deserved it (20883)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (398040) - you deserved it (52933)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (656173) - you deserved it (48831)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329339) - you deserved it (35706)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (385023) - you deserved it (61676)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: