Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About perfectlystaind : I like turtles.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today , while hiking , mah dad decidd we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discoverd it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML
Yesterday , I woke husband up at 2am , screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom!! We both screamed for a bit until he finally says , "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger , an realized it was four year old daughter with her blanket!! FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, I took te bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway tere, se fell asleep, er ead on ma soulder. I gently tried to wake er up before ma stop. Se wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. fat FML
Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I calld my girlfriend to see if she wantd to go get some food . Then I heard her phone ring . Through the wall . FML
Friday 27 March 2015