About perfectlystaind : I like turtles.
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perfectlystaind's favorite FMLs
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
by I Like My Cat / 12/21/2012 at 5:02am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm / Spain (Canarias) / Animals
by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by mahanaaa_23 / 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML
by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…