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perfectlystaind

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perfectlystaind

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 January 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About perfectlystaind : I like turtles.

perfectlystaind's page activity

Visits<b>WeWalkIn1D</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:30am<b>bwzwally8</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 5:10am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 4:07am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 12:04pm<b>Mutiny7</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:19am<b>brittanyrmh_</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 11:04am<b>mountainmanneil</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 8:25am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 6:13am<b>jeep575</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 12:18am

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perfectlystaind's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (44593) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45648) - you deserved it (9520)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (5061)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (3651)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55466) - you deserved it (3946)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33199) - you deserved it (4628)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (7007)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML

#20426386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (4355)

On 12/27/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by youfuckingdumbassmum (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34490) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (4804)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50364) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79962) - you deserved it (24552)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (2188)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15090) - you deserved it (34932)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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