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perfectlystaind

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perfectlystaind

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 January 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 402
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About perfectlystaind : I like turtles.

perfectlystaind's page activity

Visits<b>WeWalkIn1D</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:30am<b>bwzwally8</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 5:10am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 4:07am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 12:04pm<b>Mutiny7</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:19am<b>brittanyrmh_</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 11:04am<b>mountainmanneil</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 8:25am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 6:13am<b>jeep575</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 12:18am

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perfectlystaind's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (40945)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60185) - you deserved it (6931)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (4815)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38515) - you deserved it (4539)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31668) - you deserved it (2634)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (8785)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41458) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (46399)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (6011)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10177) - you deserved it (34536)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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