About perfectlystaind : I like turtles.
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perfectlystaind's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
by omgstuupidd / 02/17/2013 at 9:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm / Venezuela (Lara) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love
by Edgarillo / 02/14/2013 at 2:59am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry / 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
by and she doesn't even give bjs / 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of… Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between…