Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pennyprostitute

Search for a member

pennyprostitute

4Liked!

pennyprostitute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 430
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About pennyprostitute : I love to sleep in late and I'm also quite sarcastic. Don't worry, I'm not actually a hooker! My cousin dared me to put this as a username. So here I am!

pennyprostitute's page activity

Visits<b>briang959</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:19pm<b>kenjenkei</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:32pm<b>jfoll25</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:23am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:10pm<b>pussystank</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Anonymos_fmler</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:01pm<b>princessofthedrk</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:43pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:00pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:06pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:57am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:41pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:09pm<b>spignona84</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:52am<b>WEREuMADbro</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:48am

Liked!<b>briang959</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:19am<b>kenjenkei</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:41am<b>Anonymos_fmler</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:00am<b>princessofthedrk</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:43am

pennyprostitute's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of pennyprostitute's badges

pennyprostitute's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (26039)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (3622)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (28729)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (2050)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33268) - you deserved it (1828)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (5246)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (4859)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (1946)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (2362)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (2216)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: