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pennyprostitute

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pennyprostitute

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About pennyprostitute : I love to sleep in late and I'm also quite sarcastic. Don't worry, I'm not actually a hooker! My cousin dared me to put this as a username. So here I am!

Quick facts:
•I love "How i Met Your Mother"
•I love to rant
•I'm a little bit of a feminist
•I'm in lots of fandoms
•I try to be funny but my jokes are too complicated for your stupid human minds

Well, that's it if you stuck around to read this. Thanks!

pennyprostitute's page activity

Visits<b>Stazza11</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:32pm<b>jfoll25</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:23am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:10pm<b>pussystank</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Anonymos_fmler</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:01pm<b>princessofthedrk</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:43pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:00pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:06pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:57am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:41pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:09pm<b>spignona84</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:52am<b>WEREuMADbro</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:48am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:01pm

Liked!<b>Anonymos_fmler</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:00am<b>princessofthedrk</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:43am

pennyprostitute's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of pennyprostitute's badges

pennyprostitute's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23801) - you deserved it (4505)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27095) - you deserved it (2037)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (5493)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (3226)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (4860)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (4163)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (2453)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (3593)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML

#21315594
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (2866)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by KCHS - United States

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (8978)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML



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