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penguin_bitchez

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 5:08am) | Search for a member

penguin_bitchez

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 321
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About penguin_bitchez : Death metal is great, but I enjoy most music :)
I have 1" stretched ears and long hair
kik - penguin_bitchez
instagram - cosmicxdissonance
snapchat - elecksor
hit me up!

penguin_bitchez's page activity

Visits<b>rshweky</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:39pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:16pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:31pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:37pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:44pm<b>_lyricall</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:43am<b>aaliyahmlp</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:01pm<b>hrebnym</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:06pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:41pm<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:27am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:45pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:30pm<b>so_smooth</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:21pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:05am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:12pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:08pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:43am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>katiebeth12</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:28am

penguin_bitchez's FML badges

Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of penguin_bitchez's badges

penguin_bitchez's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (3927)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (3464)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

#21252384
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36651) - you deserved it (3691)

On 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (13643)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61742) - you deserved it (13103)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45690) - you deserved it (6414)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40907) - you deserved it (22759)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (7085)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (9586)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (4309)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (44690)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55140) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74062) - you deserved it (13962)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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