Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

penguin_bitchez

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

penguin_bitchez

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 261
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About penguin_bitchez : Death metal is great, but I enjoy most music :)
I have 1" stretched ears and long hair
kik - penguin_bitchez
instagram - amassacreinthenorth
snapchat - elecksor
hit me up!

penguin_bitchez's page activity

Visits<b>hrebnym</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:59pm<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:27am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:45pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:30pm<b>so_smooth</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:21pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:05am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:12pm<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:55pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:08pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:43am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:45pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:39pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:54am<b>vegasked</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:13pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:54am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:34pm<b>katiebeth12</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:45am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:36pm

Liked!<b>katiebeth12</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:28am

penguin_bitchez's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of penguin_bitchez's badges

penguin_bitchez's favorite FMLs

yesterday boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into face instead. FML

#21252384
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33919) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Yesterday I Puttd On A Porno, Trying To Unwind After A Bad Day. 10 Minutes In, I Was So Pissd Off With The Girl Constantly Repeating "You Like That? Yeah?" And The Cameraman's Obsession With The Guy's Asscrack That I Startd Yelling At The Screen. Now I'm More Stressd Than Ever. Mega FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (13602)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59480) - you deserved it (12567)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today , I went to te restroom to pee . A loud fart exploded out of ma ass an ecoed in te toilet bowl . I could practically feel ma face on fire wen I saw te orrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out . FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (6276)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today I recieved a poorly-written letter from mah asshole nieghbor in which he threatened to ( sew ) me cuz mah dog shat on his lawn again . I went over asked if he needed some wool fir his sewing an told him to looool stop bieng an idiot . Now he's apparently hring a lawyer fir real . FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (22336)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked outside mah house to find mah father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing lyk a maniac and screaming, ( Die bitches! Die! ) FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (4289)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower . That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decidd to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with . FML

#4256905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53812) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today... my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk an flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried an peed. FML

#1873623
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71501) - you deserved it (13386)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: