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pencilmustache
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  • Number of visits : 25592
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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pencilmustache's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

#2911637
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41507) - you deserved it (6395)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

#2901718
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44168) - you deserved it (22581)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54954) - you deserved it (2706)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

#2798038
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31008) - you deserved it (77613)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70137) - you deserved it (17109)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided that I was going to get my front license plate put back on my car after two years of having it off. In these two years I somehow never got pulled over for it, as it is illegal to drive without one in MD. On my way there, I got pulled over for not having a front license plate. FML

#2772100
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (44702)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by dm206 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML

#2771745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59056) - you deserved it (3575)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oh_baby (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112997) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52322) - you deserved it (23602)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

#2658966
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48600) - you deserved it (7875)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32480) - you deserved it (10470)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (73232)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, 'I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy.' FML

#2302779
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40895) - you deserved it (6776)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:23am - health - by squishyboy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (34593)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12777) - you deserved it (57240)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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