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pencapchew1967's FML badges
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pencapchew1967's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML
by Stinkipinkki / 08/21/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML
by psychic parents, how do they work? :( / 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Vermont) / Kids
by Creepedout / 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had company coming over for a get together. We went upstairs to see my room only to find a… Today, I was just about to open up to my best friend about my depression and loneliness when I see… Today, I made plans with my teacher. Not as a date or to help me with school. Instead we made plans…