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peasonearth

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 1:43am) | Search for a member

peasonearth

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 225
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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peasonearth's favorite FMLs

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51881) - you deserved it (16565)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (3584)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (32156)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (6401)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (10813)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (61324)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

#15508713
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (4737)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:10am - misc - by leeseyxoxo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13567) - you deserved it (41647)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

#14950396
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (4491)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69761) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (2426)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

#13275274
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10442) - you deserved it (31809)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by northernlass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50114) - you deserved it (3477)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45755) - you deserved it (14575)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7226) - you deserved it (53521)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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