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peanut012's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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peanut012's favorite FMLs
Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML
by Rinelric1998 / 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
by Tiana / 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML
by dammit / 08/10/2010 at 1:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we… Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got… Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so…