About peachesncreem : Soon to be a mama :) hooray!
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Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (21465)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27038) - you deserved it (7229)
On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (3710)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (19588)
On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22581) - you deserved it (3621)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)
Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (1996)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (2723)
On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (6247)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6817) - you deserved it (19257)
On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32333) - you deserved it (4992)
On 08/01/2009 at 7:58am - love - by Unclicked (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (20882)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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