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peacexmaddy72

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peacexmaddy72

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peacexmaddy72's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (3133)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50448) - you deserved it (9714)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (5689)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38912) - you deserved it (24024)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41449) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (5487)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

#21185267
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45633) - you deserved it (4187)

On 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by Badatlife (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44457) - you deserved it (4199)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45021) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (2641)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (4021)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (8166)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2234)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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