peacenrock

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peacenrock

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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peacenrock's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

by phonnah / 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

by lisahb / 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

by Munkeh / 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

by Sadboy / 04/06/2012 at 10:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

by Deadman / 04/02/2012 at 9:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous