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peaceloVedreams

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peaceloVedreams
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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peaceloVedreams's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57297) - you deserved it (35810)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (2133)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

#19581290
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (3390)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46325) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (4927)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you deserved it (60157)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (25753)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24215) - you deserved it (6271)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML

#14888727
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (5182)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by Hopeless -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (25746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (4958)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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