Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pavingboy

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

pavingboy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 273
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pavingboy's page activity

Visits<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:08am<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:10am<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:05am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:20pm<b>rocker_chick105</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:21pm<b>pris0027</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:26pm<b>acke01</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:30pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:30pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:21am<b>NWO666</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:41pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Emiler98</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:35pm<b>bryant2900</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:43pm

pavingboy's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of pavingboy's badges

pavingboy's favorite FMLs

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (2438)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (4463)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (3540)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26958) - you deserved it (2365)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (1640)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (1437)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

#21428240
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (11772)

On 06/18/2015 at 7:29pm - money - by fuckstudentloans - United States (California)

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (4437)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3234)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (3343)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (14124)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

#21419646
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (2724)

On 06/02/2015 at 10:59am - love - by skid (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (4632)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14023) - you deserved it (26962)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: