Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycmom

Search for a member

pattycmom

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 August 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pattycmom : The picture is of me feeding a moose and apple in January of 2013. I went to Alaska to visit my best friend (who is not the moose lol). I enjoy meeting and talking to new people! Have a great day!!!

pattycmom's page activity

Visits<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>emchocolat</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:13am<b>k_gils</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:54pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 3:16am<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 5:01pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:14am<b>tegraturbo2000</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 11:05am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 3:09am<b>heffastera</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:02pm<b>chamay</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:01pm<b>kpc2424</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 5:17am<b>JulesVern16</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 4:07am<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:29pm<b>Blue329</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 9:43pm<b>Mshrodes</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 5:23am<b>bayfigga</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:13pm<b>kievking</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:20pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 3:49am

pattycmom's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of pattycmom's badges

pattycmom's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8625) - you deserved it (112657)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (3197)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (65512)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (7630)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

#14155752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (6069)

On 12/10/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

#10621379
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28840) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14057) - you deserved it (33199)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (6817)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67318) - you deserved it (4375)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: