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Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (2300)
On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (49776)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (5455)
On 12/10/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (2396)
On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10755) - you deserved it (23980)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (4910)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (1551)
On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (3231)
On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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