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Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (5068)
On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (6391)
On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6654) - you deserved it (20085)
On 07/15/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Taylor - United States (New York)
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (3699)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (49774)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14207) - you deserved it (3445)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (1998)
On 05/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18334) - you deserved it (1624)
On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (4696)
On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (38120)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (7015)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (6095)
On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23970) - you deserved it (1437)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (6822)
On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (82500)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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