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pattycakeys12

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pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Troy, MI, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 636
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39991) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

#21022962
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37604) - you deserved it (2789)

On 01/09/2014 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53464) - you deserved it (6487)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (11547)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (33838)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57462) - you deserved it (3795)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53673) - you deserved it (22221)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47883) - you deserved it (9613)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51538) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (7807)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42767) - you deserved it (9470)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (4394)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46356) - you deserved it (4775)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (2970)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML



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