Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycakeys12

Offline (yesterday at 4:09am) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

5Fucked!

pattycakeys12pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4558
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back

pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:34pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>thalassa11</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:54am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:20am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:23pm<b>hoosierholla</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:40pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:31pm<b>moron011</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:14pm<b>menabella</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:31pm<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:51pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:48am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:22pm<b>acrochick27</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:30pm<b>alex_622</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:52am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:49pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:53am

Fucked!<b>thalassa11</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:43am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:54am<b>hoosierholla</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:07am<b>menabella</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:04am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:51am

pattycakeys12's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of pattycakeys12's badges

pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (22716)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50362) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31309) - you deserved it (39539)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (6983)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69314) - you deserved it (5463)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53025) - you deserved it (3958)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (6265)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58525) - you deserved it (7254)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43312) - you deserved it (14477)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45608) - you deserved it (16112)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (3457)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47116) - you deserved it (3928)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55531) - you deserved it (11389)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: