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pattycakeys12

Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 11:19pm) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1811
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:56pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:48am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:53am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:30pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Gassy_stevie</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:24am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:34am<b>parism143</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>blondeamazonian</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:23am<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Ermony</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:28pm<b>HannaBeech</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:55pm<b>swimgirl712</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:42am<b>lemondrop81</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 11:11pm

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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47323) - you deserved it (4998)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

#21147516
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (4012)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:23pm - misc - by NoMoreMeatForAYear (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44821) - you deserved it (6289)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

#21145215
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48096) - you deserved it (4822)

On 05/19/2014 at 2:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (53174)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51717) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46964) - you deserved it (6113)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (12292)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (53361)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50044) - you deserved it (18164)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (16273)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

#21128289
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (4263)

On 05/01/2014 at 8:23pm - health - by pained (woman) - United States

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML



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