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pattycakeys12

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 5:41am) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2307
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:56pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:48am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:53am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:30pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Gassy_stevie</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:24am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:34am<b>parism143</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>blondeamazonian</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:23am<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Ermony</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:28pm<b>HannaBeech</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:55pm<b>swimgirl712</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:42am<b>lemondrop81</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 11:11pm

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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43765) - you deserved it (6265)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (8117)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47380) - you deserved it (5006)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

#21147516
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41859) - you deserved it (4017)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:23pm - misc - by NoMoreMeatForAYear (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44900) - you deserved it (6296)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

#21145215
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48143) - you deserved it (4830)

On 05/19/2014 at 2:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (53241)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51771) - you deserved it (7010)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47010) - you deserved it (6116)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (12397)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (53472)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52098) - you deserved it (19049)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48732) - you deserved it (16298)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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