Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycakeys12

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1644
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:56pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:48am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:53am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:30pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Gassy_stevie</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:24am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:34am<b>parism143</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>nancydope</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:44pm<b>blondeamazonian</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:23am<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Ermony</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:28pm<b>HannaBeech</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:55pm<b>swimgirl712</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:42am

pattycakeys12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of pattycakeys12's badges

pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7061) - you deserved it (18711)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74893) - you deserved it (8767)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33195) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (6423)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (2296)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (46941)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

#20050522
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15611) - you deserved it (8082)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by baconlady (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (1991)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (10409) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9279) - you deserved it (25064)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17215) - you deserved it (5775)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: