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pattycakeys12

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pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Troy, MI, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 657
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (2496)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

#19720443
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (35017)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (2356)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32809) - you deserved it (8325)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

#19661266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22572) - you deserved it (4000)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

#19659146
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you deserved it (31948)

On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

#19657382
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4554) - you deserved it (28108)

On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

#19656678
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6308) - you deserved it (28081)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

#19629864
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (6043)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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