Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycakeys12

Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 11:19pm) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1821
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:56pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:48am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:53am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:30pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Gassy_stevie</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:24am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:34am<b>parism143</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>blondeamazonian</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:23am<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Ermony</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:28pm<b>HannaBeech</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:55pm<b>swimgirl712</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:42am<b>lemondrop81</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 11:11pm

pattycakeys12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of pattycakeys12's badges

pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57388) - you deserved it (7981)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52495) - you deserved it (4580)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

#21181414
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (8219)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:05am - misc - by Gibbster_ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56003) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56443) - you deserved it (3944)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46173) - you deserved it (22799)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the guy who asked me out only did so because he thought I "looked rich." He broke everything off once he found out I live in a one-bedroom apartment and drive a 14-year old Volvo. FML

#21174325
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44413) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/14/2014 at 11:28am - love - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40673) - you deserved it (4425)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (5109)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49273) - you deserved it (5831)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56737) - you deserved it (6840)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43707) - you deserved it (6261)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (8111)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: