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pattycakeys12

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pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Troy, MI, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (1615)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16460) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

#19860530
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (26296)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

#19847645
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30631) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm - money - by stolen-car - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8315) - you deserved it (43071)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (3646)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (8182)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (2692)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15049) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (3830)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (10110)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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